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Showing posts from 2006

Suhaib Funda

This is Suhaib Iyaz.He shared this interesting funda with me yesterday.**************I find mobile phone games to be wasteful. It is in fact the worst way to spend time. Because games are played so that they uplift your mood, or leave you in a better state. You win. You are happy. With mobile phones, you'll never ever reach that state. Every game (especially the SNAKE variety) leaves you with a disappointing Game Over feeling. You lose. Every time. There is no end. You keep playing and playing till you lose. On some fruitful day, even if you manage to score well and get a amazing 13,600 as your "high score", it is no reason to be elated. Because every game after that is going to be even more unsatisfying. You just raised the standards for your loss. You'll lose even more frequently. Every game will end with a thought that haunts you - "You might have reached up to 12,000, but it definitely wasn't as good as that game."You lose to yourself. Everytime.***…

Summer Placements 2006

Scenario :
300 well dressed, apprehensive, confused, bitchy first year MBA students with hollow conviction and no focus. Welcome to IIML Summer Placement 2006

(p.s : I am not supposed to bitch about this. But whatever... My batchmates out here give me no incentive to be happy or optimistic about life.)

Group Discussion :

Rule1 : There is no strategy.

Rule2 : Whatever you do, it's not going to work.

Rule3 : You think you have spoken sense. You haven't.

Rule4 : You think aggression is bad. You are wrong.

Rule5 : What you think you did, what you thought was right, was meant for some other place. not here. No, no way.

Rule6 : Girls have an undue advantage. And I am not talking about that. It's the high pitch annoying vocals which they can turn on when required and ruin everyone's theatrical voice and commanding voice strategy. Face it, would you rather speak or save your eardrums ?

Rule7 : You have screwed up.

Rule8 : If you got selected, its probably the other guy's major screw …

Ad Bash

What did Yahoo! have in mind when they created this Ad ? Any clue ?

I can understand obesity.
Maybe constipation.

Who chose Uncle Ji and his mannerisms ?

Is this an attempt at accommodating "Indian English" ? A way to touch chords and more with the millions who have no control over their oral diarrhea ?

How does a father's annoyance over his son's mailing habits make a good point about Yahoo's service ?

Why is he frowning ? What is he thinking ? The issue is comparable to Monalisa's mysterious smile.

Should I relate to his dislike for Yahoo ? Should I recall memories of relatives with rock solid opinions and feel worse about everything ?

So many questions. So little brain. So little time. Yahoo?

Think different

I first blamed it on his flowing tresses. A fundoo Hrithik's hairstyle shouldn't wander beyond Hrithik's own head. Then, it seemed to be the eager handshakes. Why was he so enthusiastic about the whole thing ? Truthfully, we PGP1 students should have been the ones frolicking. After all, a leading newspaper of the country (screw the censorship, it was Hindustan Times) was under the impression that the PGP22 batch had something different to offer. PGP20 batch had a guy who opted out of placements, and opened up his football training school. This batch had an exceptional number of singing dancing imbeciles. Some of us would have definitely committed a career blunder and landed up at IIML. We were great potential for the 'Think Different' story.

The interview(s) lasted for almost an hour. Our man was really digging hard for creativity. One of us could surely be a maverick. Have a bleak passion ? Blow it up ! Think you are different ? Of course you are. You are a normal


I haven't had a sunday in over a month. Technically, there have been 4 sundays. Truthfully, today was pretty close to the sunday I am talking about - leisure and all that. But my mind is consistently facing a occasional Tuesday...rare Fridays...and of course, no Saturdays.

I love the pressure, grappling new subjects, globing away :D

I am putting up with a few of the MBA morons here, enjoying the new company otherwise,eating good food and keeping myself busy.

I hate the way I am still uncomfortable about walking about with my I-Pod. It's been over 6 months! I need a wireless lifestyle !

I miss quite a few things in this new routine. I haven't fallen in love (crush, infatuation, call-it-what-you-want) in a while. And considering the pretty females around, that's quite a sad situtation. I think that's the biggest trade off in this whole deal. I am having serious fun, but no fun fun. My vocabulary has gone for a six, and I blame that on that thing...that stuff …

Life @ IIML - I

Now I'm the king of the swingers
Oh, the Jungle VIP
I've reached the top and had to stop
And that's what's been bothering me

I wanna be a man, a mancub
And stroll right into town
And be just like the other men
I'm tired of monkeyin' around!
Oh, oobee doo
I wanna be like you
I wanna walk like you
Talk like you, too
You'll see it's true
An ape like me
Can learn to be human too.

I wanna be like you
I wanna walk like you
Talk like you, too
You'll see it's true
Someone like me
Can learn to be
Like someone like me
Can learn to be Like someone like you!
Can learn to be
Like someone like me!

-- I Wanna Be Like You ("Jungle Book")

The Right Price

Helmets have never been a high priority purchase in our family. The law requires some dark coloured protection for the skull, and that's the extent to which we interpret the law. Style was never a criteria. Our family vehicle for four long years was the Fiat. (Read about the car - Introduction, School, Road Trips, Sounds). My own personal two-wheeler was an average looking bicycle till class 10th. From class 11th, I was the co-owner of a whining TVS Moped (with a whopping 60cc engine !). It had seen good days in Mhow. By the time it tasted the roads of Delhi, it was over 6 years old. Since the vehicle wasn't a source of pride for me, buying an ostentatious helmet wasn't really a real concern. And there's the other reason...

I have a...amm...amm...big head. Oh god! The tragedy,,,the shame ! Oh the shame ! Bad helmets, ill fitting caps, bewildered looks of friends and shopkeepers who discovered this abnormality....sniff sniff...

Anyway, a week back we needed a replacement …


Barrista is a summation of all those little things - that streaked hair, those Italian coffee beans, that pretentious plop of swiss chocolate, that tall bitter cappuchino/mocha serving, that female in the ill-fitting top shouting - "That's so cool yaar. I tell you nooo, it's like..."

My friend broke my trail of disgust - "Arvind, you want this ?" My doubt was cleared by the Barrista employee - "Yes, it's Aam Panna. It's made from raw mangoes, chilled and served with...." The cynic within me smiled.

'Oh it's an Indian drink made from MANGO. This fruit is considered the king of all fruits in India. In villages, people drink this to quench their thirst. It reflects the culture, tradition and customs of...'

As I sipped the Barrista version of Aam Panna a few minutes later, I was later hit by an even bigger revelation - I was neither the Moccha Frappe nor the Aam Panna crowd. Is this some vague food identity crisis ?

Add a bit of cool a…

IIML Fresher's Meet 2006

I attended the IIM-L Fresher's meet this saturday (27th May). They had arranged it at Maurya Sheraton Hotel - inviting PGP1 (that would be us), PGP2 (whoever was in Delhi) and Alumni.

The atmosphere was formal for an hour or so - waiters circulating amongst the small groups cheese pakora and murg tikkas; Each senior giving fundaa (called GLOBE in IIM lingo) to each small gathering of facchas. This was supposed to be the prime time for networking, for 'getting to know' seniors. I don't think many of us tried that. When we ran of the silly questions, we moved on from the lounge to the main hall.

Some of the favourite silly questions were "Is there a mess in the campus ?"; "Do you have to study a lot ?" ; "Do I need to bring a bike/vehicle ?" ; "Is CGPA important ?" Most of these could be answered by a diplomat's favourite phrase - "it depends."

It would be naive' to attribute what happened next to alcohol. It can be …

Oye Hoe Dilli

Quite often, an encounter with Dilli-waalas evokes an odd mixture of awe, disgust and appreciation within me. I am against pointless generalizations. But Dilli waalas are truly something ! It's quite annoying to drive with them. Their utter disrespect for rules/ethics is evident. But the heart of dilli-behaviour lies in its marketplaces. A general store owner will slowly inch out of his land boundary and set the egg crates and pepsi stacks three feet away, marking his little territory. Banners with loud 'SALE SALE' graphics will be strung across poles that didn't expect it. Salesman will smile, get you chai-paani without making you feel obligated. Very rarely will you hear anyone say, "nahi milega."

This evening I went shopping for general purchases to ATTA market - an appalling example of illegal construction, indian congestion, pollution and behaviour reflecting the theme of this article. The whole of NOIDA loves it because that's the kind of market tha…

Treat @ KGP

Definitions :

Monkey Business : Individual must share his/her goods with society, whatever they may be.

Treat : KGP's way of doing Monkey Business. Hey ! You got a job. Why not let us milk some of that monetary blessing. Sure, since we are humans in a society, it may not be appropriate to deal in cash, or divide it amongst ourselves. So allow me to consume enough alcohol and food, to add up to around the same amound of money, as I would have received, if I was not bound by society's rules. Job @ Infosys - Booze treat Rs 1000/- should be fine. Job @ L&T - Now I must receive compensation of at least 1500/-. Job @ Mckinsey - hehe...get ready to curse God for making you so charming and smart !

Photo abbreviations - ALL made up. I know nothing about the art. I just opine

Treat Rules

Rule no 1 : They all look the same.

Rule no 2 : Some moron or the other always gets sento. Sento involves tumbling, being utterly dependent on others for reaching your room, talking loudly and insensibly…

My favourite video on YouTube

It's called "Hey Clip".
As of now, it's been viewed 3,741,383 times and has logged 3121 comments.
This is how the creators succinctly describe it :

heya all! dancing stupid is fun.
me and my friend in a cool clip.
"Hey" by the pixies

Check it out !

April 28

The final semester was not meant to be so hectic. I thought days would gently transit from one to another.

I thought I'd be able to soak in the spirit of youth in January - jive in Spring Fest, Carpe-diem.

I wanted to enjoy the dying winter of February ;

I would have loved to breathe in the caressing breeze of March - when kgp is at it's best. hall days, music, theatre...

I wanted to make whimsical trips to Harrys/Cheddis - enjoy the company of those who tinkled my brain.

I couldn't do any of the stuff above. Or enjoy them when they were happening.

My mind has forgotten how to relax. I am permanently in the 'interview' mode. Do well. Speak well. Write well.

My hall presented me a Best-Soccult award - I didn't feel happy. And it wasn't indifference either. The alarming fact was my brain said, "It's ok. Nothing great. Maybe there is something better you can aim for."

Music is thankfully still free from all this. I listen to what I want to. And I am lov…

They're watching you

The annoyance has been brewing within me for almost two years. Back then, this is how I felt about Orkut -

Then there is the thing, and the other thing, next to that one. Its called Orkut ( cute...kya pyaara naam hai...just like my dog you know na...Dog, matlab Dog Biscuit..Orkut, Biskut )....See, contradictory to what many of the people think here, I believe it serves no purpose. Yes, you can still add me as a "friend", I am game. But it is pretty ridiculous. Why ? Let us analyse this sex-wise :

The Guys - See, its back to the "mine is bigger than yours" phenomenon. With Yahoo msgr, life is much easier since nobody can gauge the exact number of people added on your list. Who really wants idiots on the friends list sending the "Jai Maata Di, send this all" ? They should in fact be on the "Fry & end" list.
So, the average guy suddenly gets the invitation to join Orkut from some dude (level of friendship irrelevant, as you w…

Think BIG !

- "Where are you headed ?"
- "I am going to the Madan Mohannn Malv...zzzzZZ"

Some whacky brains up there are subtly ruining our IIT experience. The masters of astro-physics, of politics, somehow goof up when it comes to such a simple task. While the youth struggles to shorten their names (Harminder to Harry, Aditya to Adi); typ lik dis & dat, the authorities consistently struggle to achieve the exact opposite. Isn't this annoying ?

A modest analysis :

IIT Kharagpur receives it's first three halls in quick succession. They undoubtedly have the best names among all the halls. And this isn't foolish PAN tempo. Just try saying it out loud :

PA-TEL (2 syllables)
NEH-RU (2 syllables)
A-ZAD (2 syllables)

Three years later, the authorities got a little whackier. Two new halls were plopped onto the IIT Campus.

RAJENDRA PRASAD (5 syllables) - Which had to be shortened to RP
RADHA KRISHNAN (4 syllables) - Which had to be shortened to RK

I don't know what…

Best of Seinfeld 3

|| There's something very insincere about these greeting cards we send back and forth to each other all the time. They're like these little one-dollar folded paper emotional prostitutes, isn't it? "I don't know what my feelings are, so I'll just pay some total stranger a buck to make up this little Hallmark hooker to do the job for me. So I can go, 'Yeah, I didn't write this, but whatever they wrote, I think the same thing." ||

All right. How 'bout this one: let's say you're abducted by aliens.


They haul you aboard the mother ship, take you back to their planet as a curiosity. Now: would you rather be in their zoo, or their circus?

I gotta go zoo. I feel like I could set more of my own schedule.

But in the circus you get to ride around in the train, see the whole planet!

I'm wearin' a little hat, I'm jumpin' through fire.. They're puttin' their little alien heads in my mouth..


Krishna, Radha and all that....

*Intellectual conversation at 2:30 a.m on the IIT LAN(censored & abridged) *

DC++ peculiarities :
* Conversation is not linear. Multiple strings follow simultaneously.
* It takes very little provocation to garnish lines with expletives (hence it took a lot of clean up to make this presentable).
* '11' is a geeky form of the cool smiley :) It's weird. bear with it.

BUHAAA : SFI is everywhr whr thr is an IIT...... :)
mask : 11
mask : SFI is thr even in US
BUHAAA : nope yaar its serious.........u kno SFI = sexually frustrated IITians??
camou : Who said iitians are se.xually frustrated
mask : then u r a bandi , right?
BUHAAA : well u kno better of urself )
camou : u are se.xually frustrated doesnt mean others are also se.xually frustrated
camou : all of my wingmates have done it
camou : in fact i am the only guy who didnt do it yet
camou : but still i am not frustrated
BUHAAA : camouflaged still fighting hard to hide his frustration :)
Aloo : :-))

(Enter star player,…


Songs I'll stay away from for a while :

-> Euphoria - Tum
-> KK - Aap ki dua
-> Karz - Om Shanti Om
-> Lucky Ali - O Sanam

If music be the food of joy, then it has upset my stomach.
17th March 2006 was a sad, sad, sad day.....

A confession

By the time you coloured morons get back from your strenuous Holi Tolis and splish-splash activities, I hope this piece of text won't spark any fresh enthusiasm to knock at my door.

I am not celebrating Holi this year. Oooh ! That sounds quite deep - like a stand against the cartoon controversy thing. But it's not. It's pure 100% unadulterated lethargy. Here are a few pictures from last year's celebrations.

As you can see, I can't just walk out of my room and be back in an hour or so. KGP Holi stuff are a wee bit intensive. Frankly, I haven't celebrated Holi 'dirty' before Kharagpur. All school level hungama had normal colours, a pichkari (cool kids had the steel variety, and I had the fragile plastic ones) and water balloons in later years. Permanent colours were banned for us. All those bhaiyas who would walk by adorned in shades of silver and gold would draw gasps of awe and respect.

Kharagpur involves around 600 students per batch, from which at least …


P = Panelist
I = I
Italics = Sub text

I enters the room.

I : Good morning Sir (smile - hope you don't screw me).
P : Sit down. (sigh...another one of those tie-wearing morons). Tell me something about yourself.
I : I am 21 years old. I am currently pursuing graduation in....
P : (flip,,,,flip,,,yawn...)..

P : Why do you want to do an MBA ?
I : ...I would like to use my entrepreneurial skills and management techniques to... (oh many more jargons will it take for him to perk up)

P : What is your opinion about this year's budget (smirk - does he even have an opinon ?) ?
I : (pause) I think (or that guy at thinks) that this year's budget focusses on 3 major aspects - taxes, amm....amm...I am not sure about the other two.
P : Do you have a role model ?
I : Yes Sir. I really respect my father..He has been.. (uff...even you know the rest you moron. smile smile.)

P : Do you think the Sensex is going to rise further ?
I : I feel there are 3 major facto…

Woo hoo - 2nd!

How do I explain this feeling ?
There is no high. Yup. There is no high greater than the elation one feels after a good stage show. My Leo heart swells and pumps gallons of energy into my veins. And any number of hours of toil, unwanted decision making, trivial tensions backing the event melt into wonderful memories.

Of course, the digital age has allowed us to capture these moments - audio and video. Thanks Souvik, Anish, Vamsi and others who have clicked those zillion photographs.

We had our performance of Western Groups yesterday. Five more teams performed this evening.
We came 2nd. woo hoo!
Congrats RK Hall team for the well deserved first position.

I should be composing lines of glory, penning memoirs of my music-experiences at kgp. But I'll just put up this Seinfeld excerpt (slightly tweaked), which seems very apt at this moment. Please note it does not reflect my own or the team's stance towards the event judgement :)

I would rather come in last than win the silver, if …

The bird flu thing

"More than eight lakh chickens would be culled and another two lakh vaccinated..."
"Birds sent to London lab..."

I am not sure what exactly culled means. At least, I was totally oblivious of its context till this morning. My wordweb defines it as : 'Remove something that has been rejected/ look for and gather.'

When I read these multiple news items yesterday, I thought the chickens were being sent away to a happy place - like a disneyland for hens at London. How bad could this culling activity be ? The dirty hens were of course being vaccinated. But that is just a prick of an injection, right ? As more news flew into my computer today, the euphemistic expressions were steadily displaced by more direct phrases - birds to be burnt! killed! I wish I was shocked by it. Instead, I was flooded with apathy, quite aptly captured by my favourite american expression - whatever!

At this point, I must state that despite being a consumer of chicken-products, I am still …

How to make life simpler

I finally have enough fundaa w.r.t to RSS Readers to help all you blog readers out there. For those who want concrete knowledge, click here and here for tutorials on RSS.

RSS (Really Simple Syndication) is a format for syndicating news. Which means that instead of searching for news from various sources, you can receive news from all of them, in the way you want them. Any website which supports RSS will have a link for a feed which you feed to your reader. The reader aggregates whatever information is relevant and displays it to you. This screenshot should give you some idea.

The RSS Reader I am using is freeware and quite crude. If you search for better readers, you can find some that even support filters for the feeds - which means more customized information.

Some of the Indian News Sites I am subscribing to are Rediff, Indian Express and Times of India. Rediff gives relevant compiled information. Times of India has customized RSS feeds. But it is updated only once a day (like a ne…


Situation - A man running in slow motion towards you.
Three things that will enhance his appeal :

1. A bouquet.
2. A rifle.
3. A jacket or similar fluttering clothing
4. Indian flag ; Rain (courtesy Susheela)
5. ______

Three things that will mar his appeal :

1. A bucket
2. A book
3. A man running alongside equipped with the previous list of items.
4. Broom-stick ; Lungi ; A running lady overtaking him (courtesy Susheela)
5. _____

Situation - You are munching food.
Three things that'll ruin your your appeal :

1. Kela
2. Idli
3. Mango (courtesy Nimesh)
4. _____

Three things that'll rocket our appeal (especially if you are a female) :

1. Grapes
2. Cold Drinks
3. Choco-bar (courtesy Sandeep)
4. _____

Situation - You are introducing yourself.
Three things you should never say :

1. Myself name
2. Mujhse Dosti Karoge
3. I love blogging.
4. _____

Three things you might want to say :

1. Hi
2. I am a student of the dept of...
I have come from...
My hobbies are .. (courtesy Himadri)
3. ______

(please add entries if …


It's great to be back, slinging mud on a veteran music director whose creations are loved by the masses...
Aaaaaashiq Banayaaaa, Aaaaaashiq Banayaaaa, Aaaaaashiq Banayaaaa aaaapne...
Quite similar to the Sourav Ganguly thingie, the indian community is split in two factions - those who know he sucks, and those who think he doesn't.
I went through some amount of effort to enkindle my iced fingers, numb from lack of blogging. I wasted precious disk space, downloading the whole album of Aksar to scrounge for the song that had spoilt our Nehru Canteen experience. I snipped off the decent parts, and saved the section that epitomises the feelings I plan to word. To absorb the essense of Himesh Reshammiya's bawling, I suggest you click here and get into the same mood.

Apparently, this guy has been in the industry since 2000. I earlier thought that it was a duo creating such crap for the industry. It's just one guy. This one --

One of his first movies was "Jodi No. 1". …

Spring Fest 2006 (prelude)

IIM-C Carpe-Diem 2006

Carpe Diem Prelude

Over the last two years, I had systematically forgotten the gifts that were a part of the guitaring package. The last sweet memory was that of the event ZONASA '03, which boasted of a brigade of architectural delegations. The sweet rhythm or even the sight of the guitar ensured an ensemble of females, who poured attention and love (?) for at most half an hour before they went on to the next attraction. It was a brief 'high', like with tequila. My brain would always know that it was ephemeral, that the females weren't REALLY interested. But I lived those moments consummately. Somehow, I never had an opportunity to do the same for a long time.

Today, after more than two years, I am rediscovering at IIM-C Carpe-diem fest the gifts guitaring provides...

" play the guitar ?"
"FIFTH year ???? you look like a second year..."

and the annoyance too...

Carpe Diem - Favourite Moment

-- "Is it possible that you have a crush on …


" And his alphabets will not started with A, B, C, D, E ..
.....but with B, L, A, C, K..and I"
B - Bangalore
L - Lucknow
A - Ahemdabad
C - Calcutta
K - Kozhikode
I - Indore

Need the world and a half's support for the next stage.
Pray for me :)