Friday, April 21, 2006

Think BIG !

- "Where are you headed ?"
- "I am going to the Madan Mohannn Malv...zzzzZZ"

Some whacky brains up there are subtly ruining our IIT experience. The masters of astro-physics, of politics, somehow goof up when it comes to such a simple task. While the youth struggles to shorten their names (Harminder to Harry, Aditya to Adi); typ lik dis & dat, the authorities consistently struggle to achieve the exact opposite. Isn't this annoying ?

A modest analysis :

1951
IIT Kharagpur receives it's first three halls in quick succession. They undoubtedly have the best names among all the halls. And this isn't foolish PAN tempo. Just try saying it out loud :

PA-TEL (2 syllables)
NEH-RU (2 syllables)
A-ZAD (2 syllables)

1954
Three years later, the authorities got a little whackier. Two new halls were plopped onto the IIT Campus.

RAJENDRA PRASAD (5 syllables) - Which had to be shortened to RP
RADHA KRISHNAN (4 syllables) - Which had to be shortened to RK

1967
I don't know what did it - lack of sense, 'mine is bigger than yours' crisis. But the nomenclature just got sillier.

JAGDISH CHANDRA BOSE (5 syllables) - It's called JCB
LALA LAJAPAT RAI (6 syllables) - It's now called LLR, or Laloo

1998
Fifty years of humidity completely blanked out the brains up there. A new international standard hostel (ha ha !) was completed in 98. And it was boldly named : HOMI JAHANGIR BABA (7 syllables) - It's now awkwardly called HJB. In normal conversations, students either swallow the J or the B...sigh...Could things get worse ? Oh yes !

2005
How could authorities top a hall name with SEVEN syllables ? Could a more glorious and bombastic name be actualized ? Well, the alumni and the old old aged professors got together, and came up with this :

PANDIT MADAN MOHAN MALVIYA (8 syllables) - The student body is struggling with abbreviations like MMM (that's an extremely uncomfortable 3 syllable word. try it !), or triple-M (again, 3 syllables).

sigh... The girls hostel extension will probably be named RANI LAXMI BAI ! IIT will sprout at least 2-3 more hostels for the increased student intake. And you know where all this is headed...

When I step out of this domain of IIT Kharagpur, I can see the same madness everywhere. About ten years ago, one of the busiest stations in Mumbai, had a lovely name - "Victoria Terminus". Then the authorities decide to impose 'Indian Culture' onto a beautiful Gothic structure and renamed it to "Chatrapathi Sivaji Terminus". People still call it VT. Probably a crore would have been spent in making the necessary administrative changes. What a waste !

Post-Kargil battle, NOIDA municipality decided to pay respect to Late Lt. Vijayant Thapar (belonging to the same city) by renaming one of the arterial roads to reflect his name. They could have called it VT marg, or Thapar Marg. But they had to paint all 32 Letters. It is called 'Late Lt. Vijayant Thapar Marg". You can imagine how many people refer to it by the same name.

I am sure I'll love whatever Pandit MMM did (once I read about it). Homi J Baba would have been an excellent Indian citizen. I know Shivaji ji did great things for our nation. But is this the right, and ONLY way to thrust their legacy onto us ? Can't those who will this, find a more effective and less intrusive way to effect it ?

Are you listening ?

10 comments:

  1. great robot !! great analysis.. u think on unthoughtof aspects of known things .too good

    next hall name would be P V Narashimha Rao ( figure out the full name urself )..:)

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  2. man i hate this name change funda...
    how they ruined bombay calcutta and madras x-(

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  3. it is Homi Jahangir BHABHA
    that was his title ,,
    baba ji ! work up on your india and its great people

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  4. When I first heard that they changed Bombay to Mumbai I was so upset, and then they came up with Kolkata! And now the roads! Sheesh! :/

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  5. man..u r still cynical...:D

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  6. latest joke doing the rounds...

    the tempo shout of the new girls hostel

    'bai ka tempo high hai'

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  7. some years down the line, one hall will be named after kgp's esteemed alumnus, urs sincerely, pvrk hemanth...

    kahaan rehta hai aaj kal bhai??

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  8. Tempo shout of MMM:

    PMMM ka tempo high hai !

    High kahan se ho gaya bhai ? Jab tak woh log tempo shout khatam karenge tab tak PAN loop ke log das baar tempo shout chillaye honge..all products of Saffronisation..

    But still after all : What is in a name ?

    Nice post :)

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  9. well if lallu can be called lallu y not call MMM mallu??
    BTW i wonder if there are any plans of renaming Patel to Sardar Vallabh bhai patel
    and simillarly Nehru and Azad - i can c one gud thing dat will come our of it, at least ppl will know its maulana azad (and motilal nehru - i think) that the halls are named after

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  10. Amazing analysis! Never thought of it. Though i don't think the new hostels that will be coming up in the campus will have names that have 9 or 10 syllabus. I shudder to imagine what the name might be.

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