Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Best of Seinfeld

(A few Seinfeld quotes will be put up here periodically so that at least a few of those sitcom cynics relent and start watching what the world and I consider The greatest TV show of all time )

George : "Let me ask you something. What do you do for a living, Newman?"
Newman : "I'm a United States postal worker."
Jerry : "Aren't those the guys that always go crazy and come back with a gun and shoot everybody?"
Newman : "Sometimes..."
Jerry : "Why *is* that?"
Newman : "Because the mail never stops. It just keeps coming and coming and coming, there's never a let-up. It's relentless. Every day it piles up more and more and more! And you gotta get it out but the more you get it out the more it keeps coming in. And then the bar code reader breaks and it's Publisher's Clearing House day!"
(Seinfeld - The Old Man)

(Jerry,George meet Marla, Stacy)
Marla : Jerry.
Jerry : George, Marla.
George: Marla.
Marla : George. Jerry, Stacy.
Jerry : Stacey.
Stacy : Jerry.
Jerry : George, Stacy.
George: Stacy.
Stacy : George.
Jerry : George.
George: Jerry... Marla... Stacy!
(Seinfeld - The Virgin)

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Blog Symbiosis

A few days back, a friend of mine bluntly asked me, "I don't think many people read your blog, do they ?" While I grappled to find a nice defensive answer, he added, "I mean - I don't see many comments." I was perplexed, slightly dented and wondered if the shift from mailing to blogging was actually a good idea.

A blog is similar to shouting out to the world - your views, stories, pictures..anything. A better analogy would be that every day 15,000 individuals are getting their own TV channel. But what good is a TV channel if nobody watches it ?

Hence it becomes important in the blog world (and possibly the real world too) to develop a mechanism of - "I'll scratch your back, you scratch mine."

There are 2 reasons why traffic may be low in a blog :

1) It stinks - bad content (although the reverse may not be true)
AND/OR
2) The owner has not developed an active BC (blog circle)

Assume that a person P is a fortnight old in the blogging world and wants to create his/her circle of blog-readers. Exhortation and direct advertising never works well (ask me!). Assuming that the content is decent and interesting enough, how can a blog turn into a hit ?

The back-scratching mechanism demands that you read other people's blog if you want them to read yours. Secondly, an active blog with comments sprinkled from various sources looks much more appealing than an ominous 0 comments.
Here is the 3 step method to become a hit @blogspot :

1) Comment like hell! Standard responses being nice; cool!; I agree with you; A pertinent comment will always be preferred. But hey! Don't waste time reading all the junk out there.
2) Using step one, develop a BC (blog circle) that does back-scratching. An existing circle like a wing or a dept group would make things easier.
3)Of course, you better write well if you want the hoopla to sustain!

The truth is that there isn't an easy way to keep track of blogs right now. It takes a ton of effort to go to all the blogs that you want to read. I am still grappling with this RSS thing. Once I am done exploring, I promise a post that'll make your life much easier....

Sunday, November 27, 2005

India-China

It is amusing that BBC decides to use this picture

to represent India as an emerging power...

But uses this picture

to describe the same status for China...

weird.

original article can be viewed here.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Solidus

Tagged by Sudarshan

1. flip open a dictionary and point to a word / get word of the day from dictionary.com
2. type the word into google images.
3. pick an image that strikes you.
4. write a 10 line riff off the image.
5. use the word or the meaning at least once within the first 5 lines.
6. tag 3 other bloggers on your list.

solidus \SAH-luh-dus\ Audio icon • noun
1 : an ancient Roman gold coin introduced by Constantine and used to the fall of the Byzantine Empire
*2 : a mark / used typically to denote "or" (as in and/or), "and or" (as in straggler/deserter), or "per" (as in feet/second)




The question haunts me repeatedly
Do I belong here or there ?
A solidus to my two selves
fabricates this impervious wall

I can't run back to my family
I can't forego this silly royal crown
A cartload of solidus
Won't relieve this anguish of mine

Where did I come from ? Where do I go ?
Where do you come from Cotton Eye Joe ?


3 people I tag :
Sameera
Deepak
Arnav

Seven Nuggets

Oh god. another stupid introspection.

7 things to do before I die

1) Bungee Jump
2) Meet the Seinfeld Cast (provided they are alive then)
3) Earn lots of money
4) Learn how to buy happiness
5) Understand modern art and all that shit
6) Open a restaurant(s)
7) Savour all kinds of music of the world

7 things I can do


1) Drown myself in good music
2) Swim Decently
3) Savour a cup of tea
4) Remember numbers,lyrics,tunes,people well
5) Tune my sense of humour to many forms
6) Listen.Talk.Both
7) Go crazy/dance/sing/laugh like no one's watching

7 things I say the most


1) Accha ? Serious ?
2) Yaaaaa...But..
3) Hahahahahahaha
4) Crap
5) Moron
6) What the hell!
7) Okkkke

7 things I can't do


1) Hide my happiness or any other emotion
2) Feel anger for a prolonged period
3) Not be cynical
4) Ignore off-beat or off-tune performances
5) Take a hint
6) Be generous to stingy individuals
7) Play cricket or any other sport well

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex
crap!

1) Looks (the whole bloody anatomy)
2) Intelligent conversation
3) An extremely keen sense of humour
4) Down to earth(iness ?)
5) Soft hair
6) A damn good fashion sense
7) A wide unfettered smile

7 celebrity crushes

1) Angelina Jolie
2) Catherine Zita Jones
3) Ayesha Takia
4) Jennifer Aniston
5) Mariah Carey
6) Alanis Morissette
7) Aishwarya Rai

7 people I wish to tag
seven ?

1) Sameera
2) Poornima
3) Deepak
that's enough!

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Hip Hop

The masses have no clue what's in store for them. Suddenly, because of a series of voluntary actions, the cruel forces of gravity take control of everything. Chests heave, asses jiggle and one's body is exposed to a limit only short of nudity. Any rudiments of fat, obesity and paunches that one had effectively lost or hidden under tactful layer of clothes gain the attention of onlookers. Oh god! He's skipping!

I don't disavow it. There is something distinctly wrong with the whole sport. Some want to deny this activity even a membership of the sports club. The root of its problem lies it its actions (Karma, if that helps) - there are no limits to break. Take for instance the game of cricket. A batsmen can whack the ball to distances unbound by the field; Oooh..nice shot! While skipping, I genuinely can't do much. I can skip. I can skip faster. A bit smoother. That's about it.

There is a putative belief that Skipping is for the opposite sex. The moment one tries to mobilize and move with the rope in some direction, the action becomes distinctly girlish. Girl hops. Man runs. Girl giggles. Man growls. Girl skips. Man doesn't. Masculinity melts away when one's wrists flick a curvy rope in a smooth curvy action over one's head while the legs snootily ignore the oncoming rope and gently hop over it. I am proceeding in a direction, looking distinctly unintelligent. As if I missed the early classes of 'How to Walk' and am destined to reach places using this dysfunctional stride.

I might be in a really bad mood. But while repeatedly jumping up and down, I am sending out strong signals of joy. Yipee ! I screwed up my viva. Some of the inquisitive neighbours choose that very moment for a bout of small talk. 'Why are you doing this ?' 'Ha Ha. Abe you are looking ****' 'Hmm...If all you wanted to do was jump a thousand times, and really go nowhere, then what's the rope for ?' And as my brain struggles with the two actions of jumping and not-tripping, I am unable to come up with the right zinger. So I do what I think I do best. Skip.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Kill K3

Here's the question that has really wracked my brain. If you were given an option to kill one and only one of these three individuals, which one would you pick ?

1. Kumar Sanu
2. Shahrukh Khan
3. Karan Johar

Any strong reasons supporting the same are welcome.
I love the confusion that overwhelms people when they are presented this googly. I hope the net doesn't ruin that.
Think hard.