They're watching you

The annoyance has been brewing within me for almost two years. Back then, this is how I felt about Orkut -

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Then there is the thing, and the other thing, next to that one. Its called Orkut (oh..so cute...kya pyaara naam hai...just like my dog you know...you know na...Dog, matlab Dog Biscuit..Orkut, Biskut )....See, contradictory to what many of the people think here, I believe it serves no purpose. Yes, you can still add me as a "friend", I am game. But it is pretty ridiculous. Why ? Let us analyse this sex-wise :

The Guys - See, its back to the "mine is bigger than yours" phenomenon. With Yahoo msgr, life is much easier since nobody can gauge the exact number of people added on your list. Who really wants idiots on the friends list sending the "Jai Maata Di, send this all" ? They should in fact be on the "Fry & end" list.
So, the average guy suddenly gets the invitation to join Orkut from some dude (level of friendship irrelevant, as you will see later). When he finally finishes filling up the incosequential questions and unwanted information, he lands up with a round figure of ONE as his total number of friends.
The guy panics, explores and manages to add SOME of the people he already knows..phew ! Up to a respectable 28 ! Thank God !

Then, his "friend" drops this icky-sweet testimonial on his head -- "The sweetest guy you will meet. Soooo nice, you know...great body, great butt...yes...only sometimes he gets angry...He plays guitar, squash, tennis..helps the blind and the poor". If the process of scrounging for friends was hard enough, then this was the limit. Shit..now the dude has to think up something nice for him /her....The stuff out there is so cheesy, you'd think the world is made of Mother and Father Teressas (no offence).

Just bcoz u ticked an extra purpose as "dating women", no female is going to jump at you. The communities (as of now), seem dead. All you can do for timepass is look at the pretty webcam photos, and keep on adding people till you get sick of it. Some say we can use it to search for Old Friends. And I say - Bull****.

Face it boys, Foreign Middle East ki bandi nahi milegi tumhe...The Indian ones were anyway out of reach. The obsequious banter never worked in YMsgr. I have no pretty hopes for Orkut.

The Girls - Well, I am not really sure. Any fundaa I try to throw up will be squashed by everyone - 'Tujhe kya pataa ?'. As seen in most of the activities (except Gitte and Stappu), the number of females participating in Orkut are fewer.
I think with the hundred courageous guys trying to add them up in kgp itself, the other problems will seem pretty bleak...Good Friend, Best Friend, Bad Friend, Idiotic Chipku....What the hell do they mean anyway ???
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After so many months of Orkuting, I've finally begun to respect this thriving system, this e-being. It has successfully delivered to me a few old school mates. Good boy ! Here's a biskut....Wait a minute...What are doing ? What is this ? ? Bad boy...Bad boy...

I hate to tell you this. But Orkut has stuck a bright light on your butt. You don't believe me, do you ? Well, here's the proof :



Do you realize the catastrophic implications of this 'development' ? My heart goes out for all my fellow Orkut creeps. There is no way they can satisfy their meandering lust anymore. One's anonymity was the greatest asset in Orkut. For a general dosage of humour, females, timepass, all we had to do was set out on an aimless journey. A bit of Brazilian beauties ; those unbelievably moronic profiles of 'Ritesh Sharma' and 'Manoj Kumar' ; That girl who might be your schoolmate (of course she is not). If the average OC (orkut creep) couldn't muster enough courage+creativity to come up with a good one-liner scrap, he could peruse the profiles, and hit again on a later day. But now, he will inevitably leave a stinky trail. He has to perform at his best. everytime. It's now or never.

Henceforth, we'll have to totally re-evaluate our Orkut paths.
- You like that female's photo album ? Well, not more than one visit per week.
- You love your cool senior's profile ? You can't land up again ! You just visited it yesterday.
- You already landed up on your friend's profile ?? Scrap ! Scrap ! That's the only way out. Who visits the neighbourhood without dropping by ? Use the standard templates -'nice pic', 'happy birthday', 'abe kya chal raha hai' ...phew !

I don't know where I am headed,
But you know where I've been,
Afreen Afreen, Afreen Afreen...

An occasional blip on a stranger's radar is acceptable. Because one does tend to lose one's way in this confusing networking system. But think carefully, before you click that familiar smiling face.

Remember : they are watching you.