Best of Seinfeld 3

|| There's something very insincere about these greeting cards we send back and forth to each other all the time. They're like these little one-dollar folded paper emotional prostitutes, isn't it? "I don't know what my feelings are, so I'll just pay some total stranger a buck to make up this little Hallmark hooker to do the job for me. So I can go, 'Yeah, I didn't write this, but whatever they wrote, I think the same thing." ||

JERRY
All right. How 'bout this one: let's say you're abducted by aliens.

GEORGE
Fine.

JERRY
They haul you aboard the mother ship, take you back to their planet as a curiosity. Now: would you rather be in their zoo, or their circus?

GEORGE
I gotta go zoo. I feel like I could set more of my own schedule.

JERRY
But in the circus you get to ride around in the train, see the whole planet!

GEORGE
I'm wearin' a little hat, I'm jumpin' through fire.. They're puttin' their little alien heads in my mouth..

JERRY
[resigned] At least it's show business..

GEORGE
But in the zoo, you know, they might, put a woman in there with me to uh.. you know, get me to mate.

JERRY
What if she's got no interest in you?

GEORGE
Well, then I'm pretty much where I am now. At least I got to take a ride on a spaceship.