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Showing posts from 2007

Lucknow dude at INDEX

Some jerk who turned up at our INDEX fair. And was dancing like a nutcase. To understand the context, please imagine that these same dance movements were replicated across all songs - including Allah ke Bande, Yaaron (KK) and Maaeri (Euphoria). I'd have loved to call him up on stage, but shouldn't make fun of people :)

Enjoy the show!

INDEX 2007 - Teams

Disgusting Consumer Behaviour

Tons of theory exists in the world about Marketing. Some of it is goes into the mindset of the shoppers. A few articles also reveal peculiar nuances about how a consumer reacts to his surroundings. But what I am deeply disturbed by is a consumer's Picking Behaviour.

If this was an occasional incident one could have even ignored it. But some people really start believing that they are problem-solving. Ooohh...Thats gotten a bit awkward. Things were fine a few centuries ago, when casual behaviour was pardoned in general, and those really creating a nuisance doing what they did were beheaded. But now with all the legalistic crap, there are rules about public and private spaces. And consumers really have a go at it when they think no one is looking. A bit of variety seeking in an otherwise mundane life eh? But sadly, everyone knows what they are up to. Thankully, there is no sub-contracting happening here. Would you really like to have a go at what I do ? Ha ha...I thought so.

People fo…

Street Cricket - Chintu's Story

[from the archives]

Sure- Every parent in India gleams with pleasure when his child/children actively join the game of Street Cricket in the evenings:
Rakesh.Akaash.Sameer.Siddharth.Chintu.Jaspreet. Standard Indian Baccha Party. Each, a master of his domain : Siddharth - with his super-off-spin ball ; Sameer - fast bowling ; Rakesh - with his brand new bat which he lends to people who make him captain ; Jaspreet - whose Mummy provided the elixir of life -- water.
In the middle of all these guru's, we tend to ignore the poor guy Chintu, for whom the two hours of cricket is an ordeal – every single day. As a victim of this forced activity right from Class 5 to Class 11, I know what goes on in the heart of all the Chintus of India. It’s not easy, I know. I will try to invoke the heart-wrenching details of the cruelty imposed by society.
My question to the world is- why does everyone have to like cricket? Where is the world where a child could freely shout - I HATE THIS STUPID GAME ! For …

Harry Potter 7

Warning: spoilers, ending and lot of cribbing in the post.

I am not going to complain of the excessive length of the book.
I am not going to whine about the gruesome markup on the book.

The final sour flavour in my brain was spurred by not the collective bunch of chapters in the beginning, but by the last chapter titled "Nineteen Years Later"
Why would an ardent or a mild Harry Potter fan want to visualize his teen chum as an aged father with 3 kids cheesily christened Albus, James and Lily? (If Suhaib's analysis holds true, then Rowling definitely ran out of new names!)

I'd like to draw an unfortunate but strong analogy to Karan Johar's movie "Kal Ho Na Ho". Remember the scene after the long drawn out death of Shah Rukh Khan (Die! Die! Die!). You'd be led to think that the end has arrived (Yes! I can move to the red exit now). And suddenly, this comical caricature of Saif Ali Khan, this white haired buffoon rubs cheek to cheek with an equally dumb old…

Tejvir wonders...

All non MBA/ To-be-MBA's might not appreciate the great finance-marketing divide. For all other spirited managers:

"Ye Fin waale log rote rehte hain. Market up to problem. Market down to problem. Apna kya hai...saabun hi to bechna hai. Log nahaana chodne se to rahe..." - Tejvir Singh (IIML Batch 2008)

Deloitte Series II : Being a Managerial Bastard

Deloitte is a great organization - promoting selflessness and love . I am neither an apt spokesperson for the cause nor a participant. You can check out the activities here. Instead, I am going to relate an exciting tale about how I wriggled out of the whole thing - manager isshtyle.

Do not be misled by the apathy I exude. Deloitte sports many employees/interns who are just waiting to help the poor and entertain the mother-in-laws. Did I type that incorrectly ? No. not really. For Mothers Day, the office had decided to organize an event called 'bring your family to the office'. The female employees were encouraged to bring along their husband, children, mother-in-laws, and the neighbours too. The tagline was previously going to be 'its all about loving your family' . But that would have prompted Karan Johar to appear in a pink shirt and host the show. Hence, Deloitte decided to switch to the former one.

About a fortnight prior to the event, an enthusiastic intern (lets c…

Quarter Life Crisis

Picked this up from Srinath's blog. Yes. He hasn't composed it. Neither have I. But it's worth a read.

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job; and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and th…

Deloitte Series - I

There are quite a few things that have surprised me here at Deloitte.
It was the shiny floors that first flattered me.
Then it was the friendly atmosphere and the supportive colleagues (boss are you listening!)
Then it was the free coffee.
I thought life was going to be bliss.
Then I came across this row of delinquent water taps. Look at these things! Can you imagine suffering attitude from a silvery 'Made in China' crap ?

I think being snubbed by a sink tap is biggest IT Insult ever. Think about it. If its a shiny Lenovo laptop denying you access to worldly databases, fine - I can live with that. There are more transistors on that chip than hair on my head. When an ATM spits out my card refusing to give me money, I don't take it too well. But still, its a money-making machine. I have to respect that. But to be mocked at by these creatures ! Oh the shame, the shame! You can be sure Information Technology is numero uno when it entrenches all the little aspects of your life. When …

Goodbye PGP21

Dear Seniors

I wish you the best for your future. I'd like to thank you for your love, support and:

1) One extra computer table
2) One chair
3) One can of olive oil
4) One cane shoe rack
5) Blank CDs

and for guiding us etc etc.

INDEX 2007

Get INDEXed for life.

The Ugly Fish Story

Another masterpiece from Suhaib:

Fishes look cute. Fish tanks are also good things to have at home. Unless they happen to burst unexpectedly.

I was sitting alone at home one day and whoosh! That thing cracked and there was water all over the place. I looked around and there were dozens of fishes, flipping about frantically. I stood frozen for a few seconds,

I scooped whatever icky-disgusting live fish I could find from the floor and plopped them in the bucket of water. I think half died even before I could reach them. I checked the bucket in the end and half of them had conked off inside.

My cousins came back after a few hours. They looked at the poor catch I'd made from the home-pool of water. They wept. And I thought - hmm, maybe fishes aren't the right pet for me.

Wherever you go, our network pain follows...

"Mobile Phones are not allowed beyond the staircase of PGP Block during the examination period. If any Mobile Phone is found with student, the same will be confiscated and the same will be considered an attempt to use unfair means."

And thus I am gifted 2 hours of bliss on every day of mid term examination.

For those post exam hours I can unaudaciously walk in the campus. I am de-linked. I am free from the guilt of not having my cellphone with me. Believe me, it's a burden worth dumping. Your cellphone weighs more than the average 100gm that Nokia claims. It carries innumerable reins stuffed up your nose (sorry, couldn't find a softer analogy). Anytime anyone wants to contact you, they just yank it. And you have to oblige....

Society Norms:

1. You can not swtich off your cellphone.
2. You pick up calls if you are not on another call.
3. You (bloody well) call back if you don't take a call immediately.

If wish there were more states for a mobile than ON or OFF.

Sure, SMSe…

Bulk Deal

It's been 6 months since I bought the LENOVO laptop, along with 200 other IIML batchmates.
The "I" key came off about a month ago. I decided to act on it today.
I expected a decent looking service centre, if not a gleaming office.

I was first greeted by a pomerenian (A white fluffy looking dog, the ones that bite you) from the first floor of a residence.

First Floor.
Bulk Deal of 200 laptops.


I entered the office.I was flooded with memories of my five month long stint at an architectural firm at Delhi. Everything from the little kitchen to the small setup seemed familiar. Then the phone rang.


All these offices also possess a high quality tele-communication system for which exactly ONE personnel is trained at the firm.


"Flash button dabao, phir 26."

"KYA ?"


The secretary habitually allowed the phone to loudly ring twice before interrupti…

Happy New Year

There is a certain sense of regret with which we general junta announce our new year plans.

"So what are you doing for new years ?"

"I amm....ya ...will be amm...staying at know parents and all.... and aaj kal who goes to yes...i'll be home."

People blab long enough so that they have justified their lame-ness of not doing some dhik-chick-dhik-chick dance with some chick on 31st december.

India ki junta !! New Years at home is not lame at all. You don't need to party to be prepared for the next batch of rugged 365 days.

Junta at colleges of course get away with their answer, because it is assumed that he who decideth to spendeth new years at college, will haveth a good time. (not a shakespearean quote).

So wherever you are, whatever you are doing, take a deep breath and step into the new year with a smile.
Happy New Year.

(p.s : surprised at my own new found optimism)