Saturday, March 28, 2009

Earth Hour Fail

"Oh my god...It was much fun! We sat by the river/beach. All the big buildings had dimmed their lights. Even Esplanade seemed a bit". My friend and her family made a trip to the Singapore beach area (ECP), while another made a similar family event out of it, as a few CBD areas darkened for Earth Hour 2009...sigh..

I would have hated to have this pseudo environmental gimmick succeed this year at Singapore. Thankfully, it didn't. News articles may quote otherwise, but I am reporting what I saw. In the designated Earth Hour, I happened to be traveling through major central areas of city - Dhoby Gaut, Orchard, Novena - and nobody had flinched or bowed down to this pretentious celebration of darkness. To show solidarity, we played futsal in a brightly lit court after witnessing the Earth Hour fail at Singapore. Jai ho!

I place this symbolism in the same league as the bimbo solutions from Miss Universe pageants.

(From Seinfeld)
KRAMER: If you were Miss America, what would you do to make the world a better place?
KAREN: As Miss America, I would try and bring an end to world hunger. If every person sacrificed one meal a week, there would be enough to feed the whole world!
JERRY: That's a hell of a plan.

Sure, the pro-environment supporters would have already assumed the non-believers in Earth Hour are spitting, polluting, wasteful, insensitive bastards. So I would like to tackle arguments here that I expect to receive against my stance.

Argument1: It makes people aware of the issues.
Reality: What exactly is the issue? What is the message that you are trying to drive? That energy consumption is bad? Or that we can do without all the frills of life like light and communication? The headline in Telegrah (UK) for March 30th 2009 reads 'Landmarks plunged into darkness in support of climate change action'. Is darkness our symbol of victory now? This article from Ayn Rand institute captures the fallacy beautifully - This blindness to the vital importance of energy is precisely what Earth Hour exploits. It sends the comforting-but-false message: Cutting off fossil fuels would be easy and even fun! People spend the hour stargazing and holding torch-lit beach parties; restaurants offer special candle-lit dinners. Earth Hour makes the renunciation of energy seem like a big party.'

Argument2: It is only a symbol. The real intention is to drive the message of environmental awareness.
If I again consider the wikipedia page and news reports as a 'symbol' of people's perception, then collectively we are swooned more by energy reduction statistics. The issue that Earth Hour supposedly tried to highlight is smothered by percentages and watts.

As seen on the Earth Hour Wikipedia page today in the top entries (might change on later dates)
'The Capital city of India, Delhi's power demand fell by 1000MW. The “phenomenal” dip is attributed to the Earth Hour observed by Delhi'

'Malaysia's 8TV halted transmission for one hour starting from 8:30 p.m'

'The Canadian province of Ontario, outside of Toronto, saw a decrease of 6% of electricity while Toronto saw a decrease of 15.1% (nearly doubled from 8.7% the previous year) as many businesses darkened, including the landmark CN Tower'

Santosh Desai says 'We live in a world where it is easy to confuse the token act with the symbol and the symbol with the action. In a world, where media amplifies the smallest action by filling its frame with it, it is easy to mistake the symbol for the real thing.

Just by sheer numbers, any figure beyond 2-3% and suffixed with Million Watts seems big. We are being bombarded with more facts about reduction and successful shutdowns than anything else. Which brings up the fundamental question - What was the objective of the event? Measures should help you understand how you are doing against your objectives. Otherwise the numbers are just garbage.

Argument3: Real change can happen only if we all act together.

Ever noticed the twinkle in the obese Delhi aunty's eyes as she flicks a coin into a beggar's hands? The emotional fuzz created by Earth Hour participation is not very different. Instead of an isolated act of generosity, you become a part of a global self-applauding, back slapping groupie to energy conversation. God, I hope you have given me plus points for this magnanimous act!

1. Prudence in expenditure or energy consumption is not caused by an hour of dark extravaganza.
If the Earth Hour guys really wanted to affect behaviour, then they should have been measuring difference in energy consumption between periods post/pre Earth Hour to track any significant changes - And reporting that instead of one hour astonishing-dip-in-consumption bullshit. Clearly, this is just a PR gimmick.

2. Conservative consumption is not the solution to the energy crisis.
Innovation is the way. And that is neither helped or triggered by our candles and such fuzzy acts of environmental support. Placing onus on little significant activities is a typical method of transferring guilt and responsibility. In India we have often received exhortations which are like - 'If you save electricity and don't switch on your AirCon in the evening, then there will be enough electricity for everyone....Even the poor'. The reason why there is irregular electricity supply in Delhi is not because you are using that extra bulb or power source. Prudence is a way of life and optional - not the reason.

Similarly, independence from fossil fuel based energy will not be caused by these minuscule reductions. It needs to be backed by sound government support and private players who have a stake in innovation. Atanu Dey says 'All sources of energy — fire, coal, oil, nuclear — for human use have been the result of discovery and invention. Some entity somewhere invests what it takes for research and development, usually some corporation in search of profit, and invents the technology to exploit some new source of energy.'

If abstinence from modern comforts is some sort of achievement, then maybe some we require some marketing repositioning wizardry for a few things. The countless vehicle strikes in Kolkata should be called 'Earth Day - Transport' - to help us appreciate our leg muscles and how beneficial it is to get extorted during such strikes. The Writer's Guild Strike should have been called 'Earth Month - Family' - to help family members spend quality time since they'd choose to bear each other than watch Sitcom reruns.

Instead of developing a weird dislike for energy consumption, for gadgets, for transportation, for comfort, we should be happy to have these niceties in life and continue to pursue the lifestyle of our choice.

The lights of our cities and monuments are a symbol of human achievement, of what mankind has accomplished in rising from the cave to the skyscraper. Earth Hour presents the disturbing spectacle of people celebrating those lights being extinguished. Its call for people to renounce energy and to rejoice at darkened skyscrapers makes its real meaning unmistakably clear: Earth Hour symbolizes the renunciation of industrial civilization. [Source]

If you liked this, you might want to browse:
Best of 2008, 2006

Pranav has written a strong response to this article. You can read it here.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Lesson of the Day - II

Previous: Lesson of the Day 1

When making polite conversation with a lady for the first time, do not succumb to your gut feel. Choose to ask 'So are you married?' over the presumptuous question 'So how many kids do you have?'. Chances are that she may not be married at that point of time. It is then unlikely that you receive favourable responses to your question. Innocence and stupidity are seldom confused with each other.

Related post by Poornima: Haute Couture

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Off with your head

Dear Vague Acquaintance,

Why did you choose to add me on Facebook?
Maybe you thought I would take pleasure
In reading 25 Random Things About You, and
Which Friends character you resemble the most

Maybe your status messages are quite delicious
And ooze copious wit
And your hallowed scores in Online Ludo
Delight your wondrous friends

Maybe you want to express niceties
By wishing me on my birthday
Throwing a sheep at me
Or hollering Nice Pic when your creativity fluids dry out

Well, no thanks

Sure, we went to the same college
Or have a friend in common
Well that's not my doing, is it?

In your spree of increasing your size
It might have missed your attention
That I spent a long happy time
Without your presence in my life
And did fine too

I would have preferred to dislike you
But I'd have to know you to do that
And for having briefly imposed yourself
And cluttering my online space
I'd have liked you to read this rant
But hey!
You'd have to be on the list for that

I don't know you
I don't want your presence
700+ was a mistake on Orkut
which I sure am not committing again

As you click on my name
Overcome by Facebook deja vu
Let me rid you of doubts
Yes, I did reject you
And I'd be happy to do it again
In the words of the Queen
Off with your face head!

Do you want to read more rants? Check out Muffinisation and They're Watching You

Monday, March 09, 2009

Persuasion Fail

We try so hard to sell our ideas. The warm fuzzy achievement from convincing others about our point of view is unique and treasured. Sometimes we do succeed in having good discussions. But it's the failed ones that seem to settle in my memory.

Sometimes the argument itself is at fault. Sans facts, sans direction, all we are left with is our brute capacity for emphasis and a few friendly abuses for garnishing.

"I think our batch had much more PhD people."
"No. Our senior's batch had a lot more students who went abroad."
"No no... Paagal hai kya? Our batch had even more..."

Sometimes we lose touch with the very purpose of starting the conversation. My dad once tried to convince my (then) eight year old cousin to come along to his office.

"Hey Bharat, how about a trip to the RKPuram office?"
"All right.", said Bharat.
"There are lots of computers there. You can play games and..."
Bharat then cheekily cut short his pitch and said, "I've already said yes. You don't need to convince me."
My dad won his company but lost the argument.

Sometimes our earnest desire to put forward a point is not matched by it's momentum. The thread snaps and one is left with a miscarriage.
On the subject of youthfulness of Asian women, Mallika said, "That lady looks so young, you can't believe that her daughter is..."
As the statment hung unfinished, choking for breath, Mallika momentarily appeared perplexed.
"Hey June, how old is her daughter?"
"Oh!", Mallika said, "I thought the girl was a lot older...."

An article on such skills of persuasion fail would be incomplete without a mention of my favourite Mahajan Motors. After starting off with a 'Mahajan Properties' establishment, our man had flourished, diversified into a hardware store and a Motors&Mechanics outlet. All of it could be surely attributed to his excellent networking skills. Having purchased our scooter from Mahajan Motors a few years before this incident, my dad hadn't visited the shop and I did all the trips for servicing the vehicle.

So that day I wheeled in my moped and was invited to sit in Mr. Mahajan's dark-tinted, dingy, 'Mahajan Properties' office while his mundus worked at resuscitating my vehicle. He gave a warm smile and continued his conversation with a sluggish obese Delhite, equally entrenched with work on a lazy afternoon, having little to do than listen to Mr. Mahajan's monologues.

"Bhai yahaan sab relationship par chalta hai. Ye dekhiye, inke pitaji (pointing at me), aur hamaare itne acche sambandh ho gaye hain, ki hamse salaah liye bina ye kuch bhi decision nahi lete (Here everything runs on relationships. His father and I now have such a deep relationship that he does not take a single decision without consulting me)."

"Kaun, wo MT waale?", the man said, unfortunately confusing my dad with some other individual.

"Nahi...wo...amm....aa.." Mr. Mahajan thought for a while...."Beta aapke papa ka naam kya hai? (Hey kid, what's your dad's name?)

"Swaminathan", I said, trying not to laugh.

"Haan. wohi! Swaminathan sahab..." he exclaimed and continued his speech unfazed. The jobless counterpart in the discussion did not notice the chasm, or probably didn't mind it.

Have you got any failed stories that you want to confess?
If you liked this, you might also like to read Logic Fail