Skip to main content

Deloitte Series II : Being a Managerial Bastard

Deloitte is a great organization - promoting selflessness and love . I am neither an apt spokesperson for the cause nor a participant. You can check out the activities here. Instead, I am going to relate an exciting tale about how I wriggled out of the whole thing - manager isshtyle.

Do not be misled by the apathy I exude. Deloitte sports many employees/interns who are just waiting to help the poor and entertain the mother-in-laws. Did I type that incorrectly ? No. not really. For Mothers Day, the office had decided to organize an event called 'bring your family to the office'. The female employees were encouraged to bring along their husband, children, mother-in-laws, and the neighbours too. The tagline was previously going to be 'its all about loving your family' . But that would have prompted Karan Johar to appear in a pink shirt and host the show. Hence, Deloitte decided to switch to the former one.

About a fortnight prior to the event, an enthusiastic intern (lets call her Neha for anonymity) called a small meeting and pitched how we could contribute to the event- handling the logistics, being the master of ceremony, touring the office with the visitors and a few more exciting avenues. Being a slimy creature, I decided not to refuse upfront. The internal instant messenger would do the dirty deed.

The next morning, I composed my thoughts in my head and proceeded to type it out - manager isshtyle.

me: Hey Neha...about the Mothers Day event, I don't think I'll be able to contribute to the full extent. I am planning to make a trip to Chennai over the weekend and considering the timeline of preparations, assigning me to any of the crucial activities like logistics can only be a setback to the event. Hence, I think it would be wise if I restricted my participation to the extent possible where I can effectively contribute without being a liability.

Neha: (undeterred) Hey arvind...that's ok. You'll still be available on the day of the event right ? You can help out then.

me: Yes. that is a good idea. BUT, I think it would be best if you consider me as a fielder (as I am in my real life) who is so far away from the action that his absence/presence makes no difference to the outcome. Otherwise, I am ready to contribute in any way possible.

Neha: oh...

I sensed some disappointment in those two letters. I thought I'll top up my offer with another harmless pitch. I was anyway leaving for the station on the same day. There couldn't be much work that would come my way.

me: Hey...if there is any meeting / brainstorming session where I can contribute, I'll be happy to offer my ideas.

Neha: thats great...we have a meeting in another 15min. You can make it right ?


me: Oh what do you know...I have another meeting at the same time. You go ahead. I'll try my level best to attend the next one and contribute to the best extent possible.....

Somehow, I never got a response to that. I thought I had handled the situation with great tact and diplomacy.

Nowadays, I get a mixture of a frown, silence and indifference from Neha. Nevertheless, I respond with a nice smile..after all, Its all about loving your (deloitte) family.


  1. Its 'Mothers-in-law'.

    And, not bad. Finally you learn!! :)

  2. hehe. nice to know you are still the same.. hehe..!!
    btw.. enjoy with neha.. ;)

  3. Hey, i'm just wondering. Which department do you work with in Deloitte?


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Mangalyaan: A Guide to countering Mangal Dosh via Lord Hanuman

#Mangalyaan was a great success , thanks to the countless hours spent by the ISRO scientists who made this happen. Reports state that they prayed to Lord Balaji (Source). To hedge their risks some of them might have also prayed to Lord Hanuman to counter Mangal Dosh (Mars ill-effect) . This Hanuman prayer for protection from Mars may have helped the team enter the orbit of Mars; the jury is out on that one. Speaking of Hanuman, in the recent past there was a bizarre incident regarding an Aadhaar UID which captured people's interest briefly. Let’s talk about that. If you suspect that this #mangalyaan introduction was just a thinly veiled segue to my dated post, you are right…

A few weeks ago we learnt that an Aadhar Card was issued for Lord Hanuman with a legitimate 12 digit ID (news link) The police eventually figured out that this regressive action was conceived by a progressive person named Vikas. His intentions for applying for a fake God ID were not malicious – but rather ste…

A Review of Indian Election Inspired Advertising

It's election season in India for the past few months and the topic has dominated online and offline discussions. And when elections are the central activity / attention of the nation, as a marketeer for FMCG brands, it's quite tempting to plan creatives around the topic during the season. Over late 2013 and 2014, we have seen at least 11 Indian brands which have developed dedicated commercials around the election theme. The categories have been quite diverse from noodles to electrical wires, telecom to vests. Given the marketing investment backing these campaigns, let's try to answer the obvious question: When does it make sense to plan an election themed advertising for your brand?
The role of advertising is to 1) Get a brand noticed and 2) Refresh and improve brand association using distinctive cues. This grows brand mental salience for the consumer and hopefully then grows market share! (source). In addition to the usual advertising principles (where we assess the cre…

I'm sorry, What's your name?

I admit that we Indians do look alike. I have elaborated about this earlier, and it's a fact I've come to accept. Till recently I also had a strong belief, that once you got to know us Indians, viewed our facebook profiles, talked to us, understood our problems - you would begin to view us as distinct individuals.

All that changed yesterday.

I stood there at 4pm, fretting in front of Bread Talk, waiting for Varun. The poor guy was dragging his holiday suitcase all the way to Novena Bread Talk to pick up my house key. (Varun is the other guy in the picture - the one on the left. Yes we are not twins). Since I couldn't reach him by phone, we both could only rely on gross miscommunication for aligning on the venue and time.

Varun didn't show up for 5min. And I had an equally important chai break to attend. So right then it struck me that a standard movie ticket procedure could also work at Bread Talk.

So I went to the Bread Talk counter and waited. "Welcommmmme", al…