Monday, January 29, 2007

Bulk Deal

It's been 6 months since I bought the LENOVO laptop, along with 200 other IIML batchmates.
The "I" key came off about a month ago. I decided to act on it today.
I expected a decent looking service centre, if not a gleaming office.

I was first greeted by a pomerenian (A white fluffy looking dog, the ones that bite you) from the first floor of a residence.

Residence.
First Floor.
Pomerenian.
Bulk Deal of 200 laptops.

hmmm....

I entered the office.I was flooded with memories of my five month long stint at an architectural firm at Delhi. Everything from the little kitchen to the small setup seemed familiar. Then the phone rang.

INFRASTRUCTURE

All these offices also possess a high quality tele-communication system for which exactly ONE personnel is trained at the firm.

"ABE YE TRANSFER KAISE HOTA HAI ?"

"Flash button dabao, phir 26."

"KYA ?"

"FLASH BUTTON DABAO, PHIR 26."

The secretary habitually allowed the phone to loudly ring twice before interrupting it the third time. These conversations are never subdued. They are meant for all.

I waited.

Somehow the employee were not bothered by the ridiculous mind numbing ringtones - not one, not two, but four of them. Airtel and its products had surely wooed them. It would have been nice if I had spotted the song. But sadly, it seemed like a string of screeching. And these ringtones sang all through the hour I stayed at the office.

At first I could not distinguish the general staff from the engineers . In winters everyone wears drab sweaters. The secretary was aptly dressed in a psydelleic purple salwar suit, but she isn't the focus this time :)

MOTIVATION

Employee No 2 whined - "abe yaar mera bahut sardard ho raha hai." Then, gracefully using the other chair, he sprawled comfortably and went off to sleep.

PROFESSIONALISM

First mundu eagerly switched on my laptop. He refreshed the desktop a few times till he was satisfied.
"Haan, to laptop mein problem kya hai ?"
I explained the issue. He told me this was not the first. There had been many cases.
"Arre kuch ke to poore left ke keys nikal gaye the."

I shuddered.
The real engineer entered.
I carried the laptop to the other room.
Mundu followed.
I explained the problem to the engineer.

Mundu blurted - "Aap isme feviquik kyon nahi laga dete ?"
Engineer gave a cold stare to mundu. The engineer tried convincing me that this was an unusual thing to have happened. I reiterated what the mundu had told me. The engineer oozed embarrassment.
Mundu quitely exited.

I asked, "What's wrong with all these bulk deal laptops. Ye aise hi kaise nikal jaaega ?"
The engineer gave it his best shot - "Ho sakta hai isme koi thread phas gaya ho, aur aapne jab jor se kheecha ho, to key bhi baahar nikal gaya hoga." (A thread might have got stuck inside. And when you yanked it, the key must have fallen out.)

Yup, that's exactly what happened.
I still retained my trust in LENOVO.

"So what about the warranty ?"
"No. Mechanical Damage warranty mein nahi aata."

"To abhi kya karoon ?"

Engineer confessed - "Hamaare boss ka bhi laptop keyboard kharaab hai. Unka to ENTER key nikla hua hai."

"SO ?", I asked.
He pointed to the tiny blue prick that was stuck under the I key.
"Aap issi ko dabaa kar kaam kar sakte hain. Bilkul theek chalega."

I cursed.

"That's it ? There's nothing else you can do ?"
"Haan poora keyboard badal sakte hain. Aapka laptop service centre bhej sakte hain."

I shuddered, wondering about all the assingments that were stuck inside the black box.
"Try finding the piece that'll fix the I key", I said.
"Haan. Agar milta hai, to phone kar doonga."

I sighed and walked out.
The pomerenian licked me on the way down.
Excellent service indeed.

4 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. Lenovo.. !! And we didnt take Dell ones thinking there would be no DELL service centres in India. :P

    Seems like Service Centres are not required in India. Btw my HP Pavilion 's "y" key has been troubling lately..!! :P

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  3. Hey Arvind,

    This is the gen. level of service in India, and forget that they are MNC's who love media-quoting, "India is a great country and full of opportunities, our commitment stands towards this market."

    The trend is, "Just sell, Forget Service."

    Lenovo is no better off. A 6-month old laptop fails on battery back-up. Trying to get to speak on the customer service lines is a wasted effort. Incidentally, the recorded female voice fails the test miserably in pronouncing "Lenovo". It matches pitch-perfect to "Lonovo".

    PLease avoid calling any of these Customer service Nos. for any service issue:
    011 26388 288
    1800-425-3336
    1800-11-33-24
    080-2678-8970
    1800-425-6666

    You will only hear the irritating IVR with bad pronunciations. If you can get through within 7 mins. count yourself blessed.

    Do not use the mail id, either:
    smcindia@in.ibm.com.

    Maybe they should have outsourced the service to their Chinese counterparts. Talk about the tussle between the two rising economic super-powers.

    Roy

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