Zouk - A Guide to Romantic Dancing

My friends, at every given opportunity, tease me about my salsa dance classes. And more or less if falls into statements like 'Oh now you can hit it off with salsa chicks', 'chance pe dance' or 'wow, paas paas dance karta hai, sahi hai' etc.

I don't blame them. After all, from basic laws of phyics we have learnt in school, you have a greater probability of pataoing a girl if by physical distance you are closer to her than farther. Or at least that's the theory we Indian males have internalized. You may mock us. But believe me you'll shatter the founding theory of every guy, who blessed by the god of randomness gets paired with a girl for Lab work, or the one who has a random brush of conversation at a college festival (though it may have only been a polite query asking for toilet directions, eh Shailesh ??). Every clubbing journey carries with it an eternal hope of a 'bump into'. Every one of us guys, in his light-walleted days of college, has intensely peered into the Train Reservation list, to check if an F 18-30 lady is traveling in the same coupe'. Yes it's gross, but that's the way we are.

So yes. I hope now you are convinced that in order to proceed to Step2 proximity is the key ingredient.

Well, the trouble is we have no clue what is Step2.

Men across ages have fantasized about the random bump intos, and the ensuing serendipity. But the majority of us absolutely and staunchly refuse to do anything about it once it happens. Sometimes it may only require the utterance of a single word (read my mini-valentine disaster), or just the courage of doing small talk. So despite what my friends say, despite what they goad me to do week on week, I believe, like with the world of salsa, I have very little hope in serendipity at Zouk classes.

Oh yes, we had deviated a bit from the main topic - Zouk.
Zouk is a romantic partner dance that allows you barely eight inches of space between you and the girl. I have successfully provided a glimpse of my incompetence at Salsa earlier. The preliminary flowchart with burgeoning arrows and coding did not really help when my brain froze on the dance floor. Sure, I could have referred to the printouts in my backpocket, but being geeky and cool just don't go together. So if being suave while holding hands in salsa was tough, Zouk just cramped up that space further by a foot.

So here's how it works. Eventually after doing some swishing moves around the dance floor, you have to crack your back and stretch out like in the picture above. When you just start off, there is the girl's right foot to the left of your left foot. And then there is the girl's left foot in between your two feet. Steer left by an inch and you'll risk stepping on her left foot. And the same nightmare with the right foot. Don't gaze at her to intently or you'll scare her. Don't glance down for obvious reasons. An yes, be graceful all the time!. As the music flows, the instructors even turn the lights dim to further help you in antagonizing the lady.

As I searched the net for appropriate Zouk pictures, all of them were more or less in the same pose. Maybe this 'bend-the-girl-back- till-she-howls-in-pain' pose is the pinnacle of Zouk dancing. I don't know where I'll head from there. But I am sure I'll get there soon. Some of you may have already begun dreaming of the romantic aspects of the dance - the fact that two strangers have found a connection so snug, with nothing separating them but a thin slice of air and the aroma of latin music. Good luck to you on that!

I hope I've inspired a few of you for learning Zouk. Never forget the dream - Some day in the near future, as your back screams of pain, your heart will scream with joy for having found the right girl.

Till then, don't get too close. It never helps.

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If you liked this, you might also like to read:
Grace - A Guide to Making a Good First Impression
Rubik's Cube - A Guide to Not Appearing Stupid
A Guide to Girlie Shopping (by a guy)

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