Mini Valentine Disaster

It is just a matter of expectations.

We, the chummy male company enriched, happy go lucky, sniggering, T-shirt wearing, loud desis are so devoid of pink activities, of romantic outings, of red ribbon gifts, that any odd occurrence in that zone leads to energetic conversations. This behaviour has been in place since we were thirteen, and shall continue till the last one in our circle gets married. After that, we will still get excited by unexpected banter with the ladies, but there would be no bachelor male circle to dissect it.

This one was not a major disaster. Compared to previous incidents involving females, it was a faux pas lasting just a few lines. But then, most flirtatious disasters occur in the same span of time. The girl involved in this mini-drama is exceedingly cute. While the other attendants at the gym reception are grumpy, indifferent or worse- male, she is outstanding. Her heartfelt small talk makes one elated about one's decision to visit the gymnasium. She remembers our names and effuses surprise on our predictable arrival or departure. In turn, that leads to clickety-clock bookings for Badminton and Squash courts for ensuing weeks.

On the evening of 14th February, I reached the gym around 6.30pm.
I received an enthusiastic greeting from her.
"What aah. You are here today? You should be out celebrating Valentine! Why aren't you with your girlfriend?" She exclaimed.
"No..No girlfriend..", I sheepishly replied. "Well, aren't you going on a date tonight?", I reciprocated the concern.
"No, no date lah. I will just go home after 8."

She was right. I was the sole occupant of the gym. After about an hour of workout, I was packed and ready. Coincidentally, the gym had also been closed down at the same time. Four of us waited patiently at the lift lobby, doing tik-tik on our mobile phone.

The other two male employees got off on earlier floors. Then it was just her and me in the lift. As it gently rumbled downwards to Level1, she commented, "You know. There is a nice Japanese restaurant here. Very good food lah". "And reasonably priced too." she added.

Now, if a girl with no date on Valentine's Day, at dinner time, indicates her predilection for some cuisine, there is no reason for a male not to misinterpret that and suavely ask her out instantly. Well, at least I think I had that line of thought. But my reaction did not convey that interpretation.

"Oh I should. But I am really scared of Sushi."

"Oh!", she said, taken aback by my fright of dead fish. "You must try! It's really good."

I knew now it was perfectly normal to ask if she was interested in having dinner right then. Hence rightfully, I subverted every possible urge to give it a romantic twist.

"Yes! Thanks for the idea. I will go some other day."

"Ok lah", she said and smiled. The lift doors shuddered open and I walked out.

With no uplifting turn to my evening, I proceeded to the usual movie venue to meet my male chums.

I was first grilled by this wise circle of single male friends as to why I did not ditch my current plans of having dinner with them, and instead propose and execute a Japanese dinner with her. Ditching friends for a bandi is all part of the Bro Code, they explained. I tried to tell them that concern for them had little to do with my decision.

Second, they argued, why did I profess my fear for sliced fish, rather than expressing love for those squishy things. I am scared of that stuff, I defended myself with truth.

Third, even if I had rejected the possibility of an immediate date, and postponed a visit to sushi-land, should I have not uttered 'We will go some other day' rather than 'I' ?

I shall not lie that the idea did not surface in my head. Over the years, barring a few unfortunate escapades, I had so successfully untuned myself from the channel of love, that the low threshold for being vulnerable had slowly built itself into an enormous wall.

They were obviously appalled by my inertia. You know, had I been in your place was the tone for the remaining analysis. Consequently, I have a small time warp to act on it before my friends, enthused by her single status, will profess love for sliced fish and seize the opportunity. Carpe Diem!

I promise updates of any kind will be duly conveyed in the blog. In case our banter does progress into a deep relationship, and eventually into marriage, I am sure this public commentary of our progress would be forgiven. After all, technically she would be my all-forgiving, meant for each other, one true love - Valentine.

Read the other failed escapades - Laptop Crisis and Male Fantasy Oo La la


  1. Unique experience... I guess this will go a long way.. waiting for a continuation sooon !!! Updates please ! Iyer :)

  2. Way to go Iyer !

  3. "I tried to tell them that concern for them had little to do with my decision".

    This is by far the best line!

  4. Haha, hilarious... the 'lah' is funny...

  5. Aha! Now, this is interesting...seems I would be proved wrong, after all! :)

  6. ah c'mon, how was dinner with her?

  7. @ Abhishek, Gautam, Afrin, Shikhar: Thanks!

    @ Saikiran: I'll try. IF anything happens :)

    @ Vamsi: It's true.

    @ Akshay: What was your earlier stance...on what?

    @ Maxdavinci: I am not kidding! There was *no* dinner with her!

  8. True love once again Iyer, I hope you have the copy of GUIDE (was it?) still intact with you!

  9. This also contradicts your - I am good with people! or you don't include them in people! :)

  10. I was immediately reminded of an ad. I dug it out of youtube and here is the url.

    Copy paste to view.


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