Monday, August 18, 2008

I Knew Something Was Wrong...

As we all sat waiting for our turn, the activity didn't look relaxing at all. All the previous colleagues (read victims) squealed and made visibly ugly faces as the attendants crunched their toes and poked at their feet. But free ka massage kaun jaane dega!

Foot massage is supposed to be a great relaxation treatment. Which is why there were two massage stations set up exclusively for the P&G team that had come down to the resort. Yes, I was lucky to be whisked away to a lovely team building outing just a week after I had joined. Apart from refreshing you, an expert massage can also reveal anomalies in your body. A spike in pain at specific points means something isn't right about your liver, your bladder, your intestine etc.

Of course I didn't believe that at first.

Somehow, my super-boss (my boss's boss) and I got our turn at the same time. My attendant was an old man clearly pained by the unending line of managers. He silently began his job, showing no traces of job satisfaction. Alongside sat my super-boss with her attendant. As a contrast he was young, cheerful and talkative. He chose to give a constant feedback to my super-boss along with the massage.

"Intestine, not good. not good."
"Yes."

"Speen, not good"
"Speen? You mean Spine?"
"No, Speen.", he said.
"Speen?"
I offered advice, "I think he means spleen."
"Yes that is true" she said, probably impressed by his accuracy.He offered a reflexology book to her and continued resolving medical mysteries.

Five minutes had passed by and my guy hadn't said a word. He just consistently remained morose. As he pressed by big toe, I squealed. Ah! An insight!

"So which body part is not working well?", I asked curiously.

The Old man grunted, "Brain."

My super-boss guffawed. "Brain kharaab hai!", she repeated and laughed for a while. I hoped the moment would end soon. But just within a minute, the old man pressed some other toe and I squealed again. And without any indication from my side, he said, "Eyes."

She laughed again, "Wah, aankh bhi kharaab hai". "Brain, eyes not good for him", she translated for her attendant. The cheerful moron started rambling - "Yes yes. You look at pretty girls, and think too much. You keep looking, keep thinking. Brain has stress", he commented. I should whacked him back with some ace sarcasm for spiking my embarrassment. But when one grumpy old man is squishing your foot and your super-boss is giggling, the brain doesn't come up with quality acerbic retorts. The 'He stares at pretty girls' discussion went on for a while without any contribution from my side. I managed a weak smile through it all.

The massage eventually ended and I limped to the nearest chair. My feet felt good, but I wasn't that pleased. After all, I was branded as a tharki new recruit with problems in his brain and eyes. The future sure looks blurry to me.

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2 comments:

  1. tharki... muahahaha... awesome man !!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lol.....I was blog hopping, and chance upon yours:)Keep it going

    ReplyDelete