Monday, May 11, 2009

Finding the right one

Firstly, I must congratulate Bharat Matrimony for placing so much faith in Orkut and its patrons by consistently grabbing banner ad spaces for the last 6 months. While every self-respecting Indian social networker has fled to Facebook to poke and chatter (or at least has stuck a leg into that ecosystem), this wedding website still expects some healthy ROI from Orkut. When the fraandship dudes make the final jump, obviously the key clientele for marriage, I am sure Bharat Matrimony will follow them too.

As seen on Orkut, May 12th 2009

What I found particularly interesting about this advertisement is the generic Indian girl personality it tries to capture. Do go through the ad once. My strong contention is that the copywriter is a male; and he decided to pen the first few thoughts in his head and froze the final output - which in order were Cricket and Food.

As a general rule, Indian girls don't enjoy sports. Stuck between playing stappu games and cheering their elder/younger brother's sports efforts, girls rarley stir up passion for sports. They may occasionally comment on how Rahul Dravid looks like a squirrel (true story) or how Kumble should grow his moustache back (true story, same girl). Rarely are they interested in the actual match. Apart from this, cricket telecasts strongly compete with the girl for the guy's attention. Hence, cricket will always be the enemy. My dear flatmate times his phone calls and coo-chee-coo girlfriend conversations around the IPL matches. Cricket can never be the favourite sport of any girl. So in case you set off on a treacherous journey into Bharat Matrimony and do bump in to a girl you like, do not trust her if she says "Mine too!"

Of course it is no easy task to find partners through a sterile online medium.

From Seinfeld
What's brutal about the date is the scrutiny that you put each other through. Because whenever you think about this person in terms of the future, you have to magnify everything about them. You know, like the guy'll be like 'I don't think her eyebrows are even. Could I look at uneven eyebrows for the rest of my life?' And of course the woman's looking at the guy, thinking 'What is he looking at? Do I want somebody looking at me like this for the rest of my life?'

The matrimony conversation will have to be a nice gist of our likes, dislikes, beliefs, values, and all with a dash of LOL humour. Hence it is important that one spaces out all the little quirks of our fine Indian male personality. If I were the fake Bharat Matrimony guy, I would not mention my predilection for Bhel Puri right after talking about cricket. Yes, maybe I am the stereotypical cricket-loving, BhelPuri eating guy that the copywriter unfortunately turned out to be. But that's something the girl should discover an year into the marriage, when IPL 20xx is on. Don't ruin it for yourself during courtship.

So simply put:
1. Don't accept her lies.
2. Lie well about yourself.
3. Don't miss IPL matches for anything.

I guess real marriage partner searches are a little more complicated. I shall share more robust theories with you as I form them, like - "Ideal Movies to Check Compatibility" :)

11 comments:

  1. ha ha ha...nice....although do try and talk to people who have gone through the whole bharatmatrimony/shaadi.com routine....its usually quite a tale....
    ps: if any guy reading this has a 'best friend' (who you secretly love) who is going through finding a guy on these sites, i would say stick with her...give a shoulder to her woes as she tells you stories about the guys she meets there...thats your sure fire way to getting her affection....proven method!

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  2. Impressive read but Girls are very dynamic and gone are the days when these "coo-chee-coo" talks used to replace the thrilling match.So be it IPL or Football- they equally immerse in it!

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  3. Good read ,... but buddy its absolute stereotyping isnt it .. .. Lots of girls out there who know the game and also follow football and F1 too!!
    P.S.: It isnt about women's lib or anything!!!

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  4. I'll tell you how Bharat Matrimony has been trying to catch my attention all this while...(probably inspired by all the kgp communities I'm part of) they proudly advertise "Find single Kharagpur girls on Bharatmatrimony. com". Ya, in my next life, dude!

    Btw, Sandeep Rath, I'd like to hear more about this method...I thought you were the fair play guy...how times change eh!

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  5. @ Sandy: I agree with Suvro. This is quite an evil streak which is new to us! Care to share more details :) ?

    @ Priyanka, Deepti: Where's the fun in being subtle and conservative with these facts! And I think I'll reserve a full post to explain 'statistical significance'. I wasn't talking about the minority who follow F1 and Football, but the majority who don't! Existence of a small groupA does not make definition of GroupB redundant.

    @ Suvro: They are not too bad :D Don't tell me you didn't fall for even one of them!

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  6. Have seen these ads on Youtube too...and seeing that the spotlight is on Sandy - "proven method" - proof for the method would be nice!

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  7. Being the "dear" flatmate who has been accused of timing his coo-chee-coo conversations, I would at the very outset have to largely agree with the post. And then, quietly slip away before I endanger stepping onto self-destructing territories!

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  8. Great post! Let us also not miss the carefully selected photo of the girl, that borders traditional & modern looks so as to appeal to all classes!

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  9. Nice read! hey do check out my posts regarding arranged marriage, i've tried to understand this shaadi business too, would like to have your opinion on that.
    Btw i've added you to my blogroll.
    Happie writing,
    Cheers!

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  10. The fact that you saw the banner ad and also thought it worthwhile to write a post about it vindicates the ROI from Orkut bit

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  11. @suvro, iyer and akshay
    sorry hadn't tracked this thread. came upon it quite by chance

    and don't blame me for the evil streak, i was but a passive observer both the times.

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