See no evil, Do no evil

I fear words won't do justice to this vivid colourful story. But nevertheless, I hope you enjoy this tale vicariously, just like I did hearing it an hour after it happened.

A few days back there was a fresh face in our condominium gymnasium - a 5 year old kid who was accompanied by his mother; She took a place to the left of Mallika on the cycle, while the kid wandered to Mallika's right near the second treadmill. Somebody had left it powered and he soon mounted it and began pushing buttons randomly. As it always happens, he quickly figured out the ones for speed and began jabbing at it repeatedly.

Seeing his feet precariously tottering on the speeding belt, Mallika felt concerned, reached over and cut off the speed. Being a smart alec, he again began speeding up the treadmill. So Mallika got off her own treadmill and switched off the power to it. The belt stopped and the intelligent kid realized that the red glowy buttons were not glowing anymore.

So he started crying bawling. He went on relentlessly, inviting attention from everyone in the gym. An embarrassed Mallika stared at the mother, hoping for some 'positive-action'. She got back a brief nod conveying 'Its ok. Let him be.'

So Mallika shrugged and powered it back on (her mind grunted 'whatever', unheard by the rest). But he wouldn't stop crying. And he wouldn't stop using the treadmill. So the gymnasium had a 5 year old wailing jogging kid. The mom ignored it for a while, finished her cycling stint and went over to him. She consoled him as he sploshed the gym floor with big fat tears.

She told him "Its ok. You go to the lady and she'll say sorry."

Mallika tried to gape in astonishment (She only tried because you can't gape too well when you are jogging). The other gym users however enjoyed the whole drama pretty well. Its seldom when one gets to stare at something less boring than oneself and dumbbells. The kid didn't move towards Mallika and she chose not to apologize to the kid for preventing him from cracking his skull.

So for a while the kid kept crying and the mother kept pacifying him. He managed to throw some awesome guilt inducing looks while shedding those tears.(Thanks to the counter on the treadmill, Mallika was able to confirm later that this wailing-lulling drama went on for a full 15 minutes). After she had finished, she walked up to the pair to explain her actions.

Have you ever tried to reason with those mothers who appreciate every little thing their kid does? And I am not referring to the sporting, painting, friendly activities; Remember the punk kid in your school - the kind who warmed up their kada on the table and stung you with it; who buckled your knees from the back, who challenged you to panja(arm-wrestling) and always won...Well mothers are the same everywhere - encouraging these little pests to grow up into villains of our childhood.

Mallika defended herself by assuring she was doing it in the interest of the child. After all, he could have hurt himself on the treadmill. The mother cut in between and said , "No, he comes here often. He knows how to use it. Don't you baby?" The kid gave his god pleasing cute smile. Instantly Mallika lost the argument and the battle. After a while the duo left the gym; And the kid gave a vindicated look to a publicly defeated Mallika.

In the future you may hear about a kid who was surreptitiously shoved off a running treadmill. I hope I am present at the crime scene that day to share the evil moment with Mallika.

Mu ha ha ha...

If you liked this article, you may also like:

DIB 342 - The School Jaunts
Oye Hoe Dilli


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  2. from a hailarious blog of an american desi -

    but kids are cute nonetheless :)

  3. Well Iyer, to put into perspective Singaporean kids and their parents, let me tell you that I was accused - within my first week of arrival here - of "bullying" the kid by a concerned couple in a food court. Since then, I have consciously steered clear of even smiling or patting kids - and Singapore has its fair share of cute ones - lest I get a reaction bordering on incredulity. And I keep warning my friends - especially of the kind-hearted fairer sex - to steer clear of such public diplays of concern/ affection as well...coz well, ye india nahin hai meri jaan!!!


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