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The Invisible Roommate

My friend Satbir tries to be funny at times. The jokes are predominantly lame. But at other times, he has produced quite memorable tales. Because he has a peculiar tendency to skip the most relevant chunks of information. And unwittingly, it becomes quite an anecdote.

One day we were talking about wedding food dishes, when he gave his views "You know I always eat a lot at weddings. Except for one where I was coming by bus. You know the bus had an accident. So my lip was deeply cut and swollen. So I couldn't eat much. The uncle kept saying beta kuch khaa nahi rahe. But I just politely smiled. Thankfully under my beard the red blood wasn't visible."

Of course we were waiting for the nearest pause to scream out, "Stop! What happened on the bus??"

Close to a month ago I met him and other friends at Mumbai. Eventually the discussion meandered to the hassles of accommodation in the city. Satbir said, "I hoping to move out into the 2BHK apartment real soon. I know this 1BHK arrangement is temporary. But sometimes it gets a bit cramped."

"Apartment dirty ho jaata hoga?", I asked considering two MBA grads were living in this peculiar situation.

"No that's not an issue.", Satbir said, "Manvendra is a really methodical and organized guy. And anyway, the landlord cleans the place after we have left for work."

"Your landlord cleans your apartment?", Prerna asked.

"Yes. Just before he has a bath there."

"Your landlord has a bath in your apartment? Why?"

"Oh. He's a taxi driver."


Turns out the landlord was living in a chawl which was demolished to construct this apartment complex. The 1BHKs were given to the previous residents. He smoothly rented it out, choosing to live inexpensively in the slums. But he was not too happy with facilities available there. So on a daily basis he makes a visit to this home. And throws in some cleaning activities for free.

"Doesn't this whole arrangement bother you?" I asked with a straight face. Prerna had already turned pink muffling her giggles.

"No. At least not on weekdays. But on weekends he sometimes turns up too early in the morning. Aur kapde dhote hue bahut aawaaz karta hai..."

"He washes his clothes too?" This was turning surreal with each revealed fact.

"Yes. And you know he wears really large underwears. So when he hangs it on the clothes-line it occupies half the span."

(Note to myself: Maybe this should be a criteria for choosing future roommates - underwear span).

We couldn't hold it any longer and burst out laughing for a long while. Now Satbir got a hint that this was turning out to be quite humourous. He then decided to make the rest of the tale funny. And that's where the joke ended.

p.s : Satbir later revealed that the taxi driver had offered to share the apartment in exchange for halving the rent. This offer was politely turned down.

p.p.s - Satbir has moved out into a normal 2BHK apartment. I am not aware of the taxi driver's current hygienic preferences. And I choose not to find out either.

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  1. Unbelievable!! How the heck??!!

    "Maybe this should be a criteria for choosing future roommates - underwear span"- I certainly won't go into details - but you've hit upon something akin to the ten commandments! :D

  2. Hahaha..!

    That was funny.

    When I first read your post title, it sounded like a Sherlock one, "The mystery of the Invisible Man".

    Looks like Sherlock has gone Hillary-US these days..!

    Nice posts, Iyer. Mazaa aa gaya

  3. You must visit the mausi sequence of Shole, where Amitabh talks with Mausi to get Dharmendra married to Basanti.

  4. "Now Satbir got a hint that this was turning out to be quite humourous. He then decided to make the rest of the tale funny. And that's where the joke ended."

    short, terse, no melodrama. reminds me that the less you try to explain a joke, the funnier it gets. same goes with your style of writing. nice work mate!

  5. yeah.. funny n all ..
    but what i noticed most was
    "if you like this, you may also like ..."

    what do you work as ? :D



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