Sunday, December 11, 2005

Neal n Nikki

Welcome to Canada.
Step into Van Couver - the land of promiscuous bouncy girls who are eager to jump and jiggle for our hunk Neal.
Hey
I am the Neal
I am the man
rockstar
superstar

For all the pre-hate I had built up for Uday Chopra, his role in the movie turned out to be quite subdued. Well, he did pretend to be a cool-unperturbed-football playing-female magnet. But by the end of the movie, someone had successfully surpassed him in his IQ - Irritation Quotient. And do you want to know who that is ?
She's Nikki Bakshi
Sweet and Sexy
Always Rocking
Hot and Happening

They say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. I've got another wisecrack for you - The way to a woman's stardom is through her breasts. Meet Tanisha Mukherji. Did she act well ? I have no idea. You see...She was mouthing dialogues. Some might have even made sense. But her clothes were amm...amm...Sadly, that is all we males noticed in the 120 minute brassiere commercial. They were everwhere. I tried. I tried hard not to talk about them. But....
If you think for a second, you'll realize that all the past few entries into Bollywood have done this. Done what ? They sold their 'badan' to the indian audience and then turned to meaningful cinema after a few movies (or at least claimed to do so) - Neha Dhupia, Lara Dutta, Priyanka Chopra and of course Mallika Sherawat. Of course, the last lady has truly accomplished something. And I am not talking about the 9 minute scene in The Myth . She has made kissing a part of the indian melodrama. Sure, the actors appear quite uncomfortable. And the kiss, which seems appropriate in most of the english movies, seems out of place in this film. But hey! At least Shiv Sena isn't tearing down the posters anymore. Whatever happened to good old indian culture ?

All the songs in the movie are jarring. Each giving Miss Nikki a reason to display, flaunt, strut or jiggle. Each song also had valuable rap-inputs, a phenomenon that definitely requires another post. I can't understand what makes the music directors add a line like 'shake your booty' or 'i want you baby' within a bhangra beat number. Lets face it - a majority of the audience doesn't even know what booty is. Most of them are probably awestruck by Miss Nikki's assets. Who cares about the lyrics!

This new urban-hip-indian is going to appear on the screen quite a few times in the coming years. Isn't that the new Indian dream ? To wear good clothes, to swig that mug of beer, to glide in the shopping malls and spend a fortune on the line of girls wooing you. Sadly, the last piece is missing for most of the males out there. There are no such flirting females. No one to call them cute/handsome/crap. No one to whom they can pretend to be chivalrous. And hence Yash Chopra manages to concoct a fantastic dream for this average BPO moron. Well done!

Nice is out. Naughty is in.
Ya right.

2 comments:

  1. The trailers kind of told me its going to be a sad movie..And the newspapers going on and on about how Tanisha has changed her "image"...Ugh!

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  2. it is very much as u said, a 120 minute bra-coomercial :( sadly indian movies are landing into nothing and going nowhr. talkin of indian movies, amir khan's rangde basanti seems to be a promising one worth looking out for

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