Observations on World Cup 2011 - on Everything but Cricket

Continuing with my previous stereotype, which annoyed a lot of people (read it here), there are curious dissimilarities between the way Men and Women approach cricket. Previously, I had branded cricket as the enemy, as the distraction that denies girlfriends and wives their rightful time with their partners. World Cup 2011 however had a different flavour.

This time cricket was not the enemy, but rather the tool to socialize - specifically from Quarter Finals stage. Last week, I gently invited myself twice to a P&G colleague's place and hence had the privilege of spying on 6 couples as they enjoyed the cricket joyride together. Being impassive about cricket and single helped me focus on the inanities. While I almost succeeded in being subtle (before the hostess caught me making notes) I managed to scoop out some observations:

- Men believe that their actions have a minor, but significant impact on the game's outcome . This is explained by a curious 'Why take the risk' theory. Explaining their butterfly-effect insignificance on the world does little to shake their faith.

- The more comfortable the couch, the greater the belief that one should keep sitting on it to help India score or take wickets. Though at some level, that does make sense. Women have little faith in the hold-your-position superstition, but they love the excitement it generates.

- Nobody likes Sreesanth. Nobody likes his cricket skills, his attitude, his hair, his gold chains, his aggression or him on camera cheering the team. For all these important reasons, he should just give up.

- It's ok to comment on a Pakistani spectator, her green outfit, green nail-polish, green sparklers - but you will be quickly called an ass if you somehow make an honest statement that Pakistani women are hotter than Sri Lankans.

- Both men and women are equally interested in commenting on celebrities and the players. But there are fuzzy boundaries which shouldn't be crossed. A small sample from the IND-PAK match:

- Thanks to twitter, facebook other people's creativity can now be passed on quite loosely as one's own. Using some intelligent phrases like 'Have you heard? This one is funny! Wow..., The World Cup Final is watching Rajni'. The immediate step is to retweet or republish it on facebook, before the insignificance of the action dawns on you.

- Wives will get attention and bonus points for showing any form of interest in the game - questions may be fully related to the match ('Why isn't Harbhajan bowling now?'), vaguely related ('Who is Kamran? Never heard of him!'), unrelated to the match ('Why is Dhoni wearing a sweater? Is it cold in Mohali?')

- Husbands will get bonus points for feigning interest in non-cricket matters. A certain husband (name kept anonymous for my protection) successfully feigned concern about cutlery cleanliness when the wife screamed 'Oh no! Ye spoon to jootha hai!'

- Across sexes, Diet Coke seemingly absolves all guilt of consuming horrendous unhealthy food, snack or drink. The word 'Diet' was a masterstroke, and I bow to the evil genius at Coke who managed to convince us - and by us I mean a room full of people with a median of 5 years of marketing experience.

The moment Dhoni whacked the ball out for a six to finish off the match in style, all couples immediately paired up in joy, and for those few seconds, I felt that I shouldn't be in a room full of couples hugging each other. But then moments later someone popped champagne, the celebrations begun, and it all made sense again.

Thank you Team India for making us happy, tipsy, a lot more proud and a little wiser.

For other lessons in life, you can also read:
When Life Offers you Balloons